If you've ever watched an episode of Ren and Stimpy, you'll know what I mean when I say, "happy, happy, joy, joy, happy, happy, joy!" This is what life should feel like, but sometimes all we want to sing is, "sad, frustrated, annoyed, annoyed. Sad frustrated, annoyed!" Doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it? Whether you're doing the happy dance these days or searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, we've all experienced the peaks and the valleys. I have good news though - since you've experienced that state of bliss, you can experience it again. Here are my top five secrets to getting and staying happy. Hopefully they aren't secrets to you!
Admit When You're Unhappy.
Unhappiness sounds like a strange place to start, I realize. Think about it though, some things make us unhappy. It's a fact. No one is perfect. If you are carrying an anvil around on your shoulders because everything isn't perfect, go ahead and let that plummet to the ground now. You won't need it after reading this.
When you're in that deep rooted state of unhappiness that holds you down, steals the color from your day and barely lets you see the light - it's really important to admit that you're frustrated, angry or just plain blue! Pretending will do you no good. You're going to be unhappy sometimes. There, I said it. Most important is your ability to reverse that feeling and move on.
Articulate What Does Make You Happy.
Have you ever practiced identifying what makes you thankful with a gratitude journal? What if we started a happiness journal? Whether you're already on cloud nine, or feeling the smog down on cloud one, begin to take note of blissful moments throughout your day. Practicing self-awareness is a sure-fire way to keep your days full of energizing moments. On your first day, make a list of 5 items, places or people that made you happy. On your second day, try for 10. See if you can make it to 25 each day - and then notice what type of attitude shift might have happened in that timeframe.
Too often our attention is focused on the things that annoy us. The gum chewer at the cube next door, a loud neighbor, a click in your car engine...whatever the irritation might be, it makes you unhappy! If your attention is focused there, it will only amplify the frustration you feel. What if instead, you amplified the good moments in your day? Once you can shift your attention over to things like the windows in your office, a great customer service interaction or a quick drive to work - you'll start to notice commonalties in the moments that make you happiest. Soon, you'll notice an abundance of them and soon you'll be floating on cloud nine, too! Each day will have more focus on the positive and less on the negative.
Tell Others What Makes You Happy.
As much as we appreciate their intuition, our closest friends can't read our minds. While they hit the mark sometimes, it's probably because we've dropped a hint or they paid close attention. It's important to work into conversation the things that you enjoy doing. If everyone is talking about the beautiful fall weather, you can easily enter the conversation with a comment about how much you love to go to the park during crisp fall days. Guaranteed, the next time one of your friends goes to the park, they'll remember your comment and invite you to go along. Which gives you another line for your happiness book.
Equally as important is honesty around times that don't make you happy. People won't know if they're making you unhappy either, so in order to aid your peace of mind in the long run, let them know you need a change. It doesn't have to be confrontational like finger pointing, but just a mild conversation to explain your discomfort. You build up a safe space by expressing to your closest circles what energizes and drains you. They'll watch out for your best interest moving forward.
Remind Yourself Every Day.
Don't forget to focus each day on the things that make you happiest. Habits are habits and it's easy to sink back into frustration, irritation and depression. Get into a place of feeling from your heart instead of being in your head (which is where all that fear, frustration and anxiety lives). If you're at a loss, simply focus on your senses. What turns on each of your senses? Those are energizing triggers. Meditate on moments in your past that have brought you joy.
One great trick is to focus on what you do have, how far you have come and who is there to support you. Where there is lack, there is also abundance. Keep your thoughts in that place of abundance and your environment will shift to match. Another great trick is to start a list. Say you are making a pretty big shift in your life and the fear behind it keeps overshadowing the happiness. Make a list of 100 reasons why the shift will come easily and create more joy. Then, read over the list every day.
Live with Authentic Passion.
This is a big one! Live the way you want to live, surround yourself with people you want to be near and make choices that create a joy-filled world. To be authentic is to honor your deepest dreams. Each time you feel that tug at your heart to be more or to do more, listen and move toward it. If you don't, you're on the road to un-authentic living. For instance, if you are living a life that someone else deems appropriate for you (your mother always wanted you to be a teacher), but it doesn't match what you really want, then you are living un-authentically. Each time you step forward with joy, a wall of guilt for what you should be doing will stop you.
Living with authentic passion is a constant state of euphoria. You do what you do because you love to do it. You keep the company you keep, because you love to be around them. You only take up hobbies that keep you curious. You work at play. You feel the abundant energy that life has to offer and each moment is surging with new possibility. Gratitude is in abundance and each day is happiness squared.
Open up to life because each day is filled with little moments that have the ability to make you smile. Carlos Castaneda says, "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." Where are you putting in the most time?
Momentum Coaching's mission is for each of us to energize the moment we're in. As owner and professional coach, Katie Mattson energizes her clients to stretch their boundaries, deepen their awareness and indulge in life. She coaches individuals and small groups around topics such as: building confidence, career and life transitions, shifting perspective and stepping into new experiences.
To read more about Katie and Momentum Coaching, or sign up for her FREE coaching newsletter, visit http://www.energizeyourmoment.com
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